|
|
Monday, December 12th, 2005
|
|
|
|
What a shitty turn of events.
|
|
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
|
|
|
Betrayal? Abandonment? Denial?
Who knows?
Payback? Karma? Justice?
Just as unknown.
The end? The beginning? A standoff?
I hope you're catching on.
I feel a change
Back to a better day
The hair stands on the back of my neck
In wildness is the preservation of the world
So seek the wolf in thyself
|
|
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
|
|
|
|
Happy birthday to me! And this isn't for after midnight tonight. It just took me until now to make this post today.
|
|
|
I smell like you.
It's nice.
|
|
|
Right, Wrong, and the Blood Between.
This is the basic principle around which everything revolves.
I learned this today.
When you play games with me, remember this idea, and remember that it will be going through my head at all times.
|
|
Saturday, August 6th, 2005
|
|
|
Dear Girls.
I'm taking a break from you.
For a long time.
Dear assholes who answer my friends phones,
Let whats going on with me and my friends, KEEP GOING ON WITH ME AND MY FRIENDS, AND NO ONE ELSE. Oh yeah, almost forgot. Fuck you.
|
|
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
|
|
Saturday, July 30th, 2005
|
|
|
What a sad, sad person I am.
I need help.
|
|
|
YOU GUYS SHOULD ALL CHECK OUT MY NEW.........
......wait.....this isn't Myspace.....
|
|
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
|
|
|
What a way to end a night.
I miss something.
|
|
|
The subject should explain it all.
Thank you to everyone who made this weekend the best one in a long time, including, but definitely not limited to (and in no specific order):
Kelvin ("Dude, Ryan, I've got an awesome idea...")
Mike Leon ("Mike, look at this detergent")
Shane ("Hey what does that say on your arm?")
("Hey Casey, I bet you won't slide down that banister and out that window")
Alex Peters
Char! (3 years?)
Heather (Two thumbs up!)
HIRAM! ('nuff said)
Hiram's mom ('nuff said)
Liz
Coop a fuckin loop
Justin Christ and The Panic
Colleen
Alaina
Both Caseys
James Claymire
RUSH
The band (collectively)
Everyone had their moments, and they will LONG be remembered.
Thank you all again.
|
|
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
|
|
|
Today was really good.
A certain livejournal post just made me smile.
A certain person made me smile ALOT earlier. They don't even know it.
A certain thought is making me smile right now.
I like smiling.
|
| Time: | 12:49 am. |
| Music: | Unearth - This Lying World. |
|
|
I really hate it when I get in fights with my best friends, especially ones as close as this. It makes me feel so vulnerable to any oncoming attack. Like I'm left defenseless and alone. And it's over the pettiest shit that means nothing but was somehow made into a big deal, something that should have been talked out instead of argued over. Whatever. I'm tired of being made to feel like I'm always wrong. Like it's always my fault. Well guess what? It's not. It's a lack of communication. A problem that's been addressed many times but never worked on for more than a day. A problem which has destroyed a relationship and a friendship. Something that's so simple to fix. It's like the bacteria in War of the Worlds that kill the aliens. The smallest thing destroys the entire network of such an advanced life form, rendering them defenseless against everything. Though communication is a little bigger than bacteria, it's still the same concept. I feel like the network, the connection, is being destroyed, to the point where two people will argue over anything and everything. Ridiculous. I can't take it anymore. This has to stop now. I need you to talk to me. You can't talk to me. You can't tell me how you feel. You won't tell me how you feel. I need you to. For the sake of everything we have, everything we've worked to construct between us. You've closed yourself off from me, and you can't see it, but I can. I feel it everytime we talk. You're so afraid to be yourself with me, to let yourself go. You hold yourself back from communication, from that connection. This is why we feel like we aren't the same people anymore. We are, just not with each other. Why? Why are we free with our other friends but not each other? This is the one friendship I thought would never come to this kind of corrosion. I thought we would always be open with each other. But we're so locked up. And you don't realize what it's doing to me. I try to express it the best way I can without hurting your feelings, but nothing works. This is the last thing I can do, saying everything bluntly, word for word. I need to know what you're thinking, because I know somethings going through your head. Knowing what that is would ease these pains of ours ALOT. I'm not gonna stop talking to you, but when you're ready to open up to me again, you know what to do.
|
|
|
|
I love the way some of my friends treat me.
|
|
|
Have any of you ever felt like breaking someones arm? Maybe that's a little violent, but whatever.
And before anyone asks, I have no idea what this post is about.
|
|
|
I like this man. He did good things.
|
|
|
I will put my fucking hands in the air.
And wave them.
And I won't give a FUCK what any of you think.
This has a subliminal message to it by the way.
Lets see if you can figure it out.
|
|
|
|
I think I'm gonna just not care anymore. It seems like the only people who do anymore in regards to me are my band bros (thank god for them) and a select few of my close friends. The bigger reason, however, is that whenever I care about anyone or anything else, I get hurt. Everytime I turn around, I hear another person telling me how much the want to move away. Not just people in Brandon. People from other places that I'm close with too. And hearing how everyone wants to move away and leave me behind because they want some "clean and fresh start" just doesn't sit well with me. Not to mention the fact that anyone with half a brain would know that moving isn't gonna make their problems go way. They'll just be in another place, running from what they can't deal with. So basically they'd be leaving me behind for nothing. I'm tired of feeling useless and expendable, like I can be replaced by new friends that probably won't give two shits about the people I would take a bullet for. Therefore, I will just not care, and not feel this anymore. I know this world doesn't revolve around me, because if it did, things would be alot worse. But I'm not gonna sit around feeling like I'm in a completely different galaxy to everyone else in this world.
|
|
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
|
|
|
There're a few people right now that I wouldn't mind gutting, to be honest.
Stupid people who make me feel like I'm not doing enough to keep the friendships between me and them going, though they make no more of an effort than I do.
One thing I have to say to these and alot of other people is don't go pointing your finger at people for things you do yourself. (This isn't directed towards Iris).
People should stop being assholes.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
rylo0's journal